Many things have been said about positive thinking. It would appear that just by thinking POSITIVE we can change things. I have always been leery of that concept for many reasons. One, even if I am an optimist, I know that just saying to myself – “you are a special person” won’t make it so. It takes quite a bit more than words.
A lot of people use positive thinking as a means of distracting themselves from the opposite feeling, negativity. But does that really equal changing one’s mind set to a positive one. Where do the negative feelings or thoughts go? Do they just disappear because we have replaced them with a momentary positive thought? I am not convinced.
While reading a book on dealing with one’s feelings and how to change limiting beliefs, the best advice that I have received so far was to feel what I was feeling. If it were negative, feel it, feel it all. Once you have felt it all – let it go through you, let it pass. Understand it, accept it, and allow it to move through you. Do not hold onto it, let it go.
There is a lot of self-awareness that precedes this concept but if you start with understanding why you are feeling the way you are feeling, then you will be able to find a solution or your “aha” moment and move on. I am not suggesting that this happens in five minutes or even a day. It could but most likely it will happen over a little amount of time. The length of time is up to you.
There was a saying flying about online at one time that went something like this “Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person will die.” You can exchange resentment for anger or any negative emotion and the word person for situation. Look at the situation you are in, look at it from all sides, rip it apart, put it back together again in your mind. Do this until you understand everything there is to understand. The point of this exercise is to comprehend your feelings and the situation itself. Find a way to get to your solution, your acceptance. Only then can you move on. Do this purposefully, have a goal – to get to the bottom of it. Don’t analyze and over-analyze for the masochistic benefit of helping yourself feel self-pity. Your goal is comprehension, acknowledgement, and movement forward.
Coaching may be able to help you move that boulder out of your way. Give us a call, we will ask you the questions that get you “aha.”