Do you wonder if you should be the good guy or not because of some crazy saying you’ve heard? Find out if good guys really do finish last and how it applies to leadership.
I gave a leadership talk recently that centered on core values. The interaction I had with the audience right after made me feel that it was well received. Naturally, that made me happy. Naturally.
A few days after the talk, I sent out a survey to solicit anonymous feedback from the audience and to see what else there was that they would need with regard to further training, other topics of interest that I may be able to speak about or constructive criticism.
Most of the feedback that I got was on par with the intuitive feedback that I got while speaking to the audience the day of the talk. BUT … there is always a but … I did get this one response that said that my talk was just “motherly advice” that they had heard before. Interesting.
Since I was talking to a group of managers at that particular company, it would have been interesting to have been able to know who this person was that wrote this comment and understand the dynamics of their relationship with their team. How were they doing as a leader?
I don’t mind constructive feedback that would lead me to tighten up my presentation or something I could really use. This post by Dharmesh Shah made me stop and think of the feedback that I got.
I don’t dismiss any feedback that I get. I didn’t. The article I linked to though bears out my belief that we need to be reminded every once in awhile of what our mission is and in my leadership talk — of what the core values of a leader is.
If you hear Tony Robbins (he’s the one that comes to mind right now) say something that you already know to be true or have heard before, you don’t say, “fatherly advice.” You nod your head in agreement or you go, “wow, I forgot about that.” It isn’t always an AHA moment when you hear great speakers speak. A lot of times they confirm or affirm what it is that you believe. After all, my talk was not on the latest discovery for a cure for cancer. We are talking about leadership values. Let’s be honest, how many of us exemplify great leadership all the time? As I said, let’s be honest…
Next time you feel like you are REPEATING yourself, stop, think, and repeat. Some things are worth repeating.
Yes, I noticed it too. I have been on a LONG hiatus from posting. No excuses, just moving on.
I had the pleasure of meeting up with a group that I used to network with heavily awhile back. How refreshing. It was nice to be around people that knew me and were happy to see me. We were all happy to pick up where we left off and reacquaint ourselves with what had been going on since we last got together.
It distinctly reminded me that when you maintain your ties with people in your business sphere, when you meet up, you are not SELLING anything, you are building relationships. Those same relationships may lead to business down the road.
That is probably the largest hurdle that stops people from joining business groups, their perception that what they are doing is SELLING something every time they meet up. Change that view. What you are doing is building relationships. If you think of it that way, it makes it easier to meet up. Again and again. People like to meet new people. People like to build and keep relationships. People want to get to know you. Keep that in mind the next time you need to step out of your comfort zone and network. You are building relationships not making a sales pitch. That mindset alone makes it easier to breathe.
image credit @jens_johnsson
It’s been a long while since I last wrote. I am glad that the reason was because I was busy, very busy. A lot of travel and a lot of speaking to business leaders, in SEAsia no less. Happy me. The weather here on the East Coast hasn’t quite warmed up yet and I was glad to be out of here to enjoy the warmer climes.
After I gave my talk, naturally there were Q&A sessions. What I found was that regardless of level of manager, there are always those questions that you get that don’t necessarily need technical skill development in order to find a solution. The answers were simple and common sensical. My answers came in the form of a question back at first — have you asked your supervisor? have you asked your direct reports?
It was common that the answer to my questions was, no.
If you need to know something, don’t be afraid to ask. The worst that can happen is you get a no. But what if you don’t and you get a yes? Again, common sense. If you get a no, you are at the same place you were at, status quo. Nothing to lose. So ask the question.
I know it is Friday and no one wants to read a long piece so I am keeping this brief. Don’t hold yourself back and keep things to yourself. If you need help or need an answer, then by all means ASK THE QUESTION. It is the only way you will get to move forward. If the answer is no, go back to the drawing board and figure out another way to get what you want. If the answer is yes, then hey … imagine if you never opened your mouth. Have a great weekend and enjoy the warmer weather coming up! I know I will.
I’ve been working on my speaking presentation these past few days and every now and then I would hit a wall. I’ve had to think really hard on how to get past it. Should I just stop and wait till tomorrow? But then tomorrow comes and there’s the same wall. Goodness. My presentation is on leadership, by the way and I’m hoping to inspire and encourage business people that are a bit besieged at the moment. Can I do it? Of course I can. But right now, that I CAN DO IT feeling feels a bit used up.
What to do?
I can’t watch/listen to another youtube video out there and TRY to be inspired. I am just worn out from all of it and it all sounds like Charlie Brown’s teacher after a while. Mind you, the people I watch/listen to make sense, it is just not inspiring me anymore. I have reached the point of overload. I’m sure you’ve been there; saturated with whatever it is that is in front of you.
I ask again, what to do?
The book Willpower by Roy F. Baumeister defines what willpower is and it discusses why there are times when you can keep going and why you cannot.
It isn’t a list based on how to gain more willpower but discusses this strength scientifically. The general conclusion is that willpower is finite and relative. If you have to exercise your willpower all day, for example, resisting the temptation to get some candy at the candy machine stationed right next to your desk AND you have to drag yourself to the gym after work in the middle of a very cold and snowy day AND you have to do this every day (you know – because you alternate between lifting and cardio) at some point, you are going to fail. You may fail sooner than you think.
So knowing this, what exactly do I do? I’ve been using my willpower for a while now for various things in my life (not eating that candy, being diligent on doing the work for some courses I have signed up for, being present for my clients, and working on my presentations and my book) and it is all starting to feel like overwhelm.
Simple solution. Get up and take advantage of today’s sunshine. Go for a walk. Do something that I have not done in a while. All work and no play make Jill a dull girl – that isn’t just a childhood throwaway saying. It actually is true (those old timers were real smart in their simplicity). Sometimes you just need a mental and physical break from the daily grind. So get it for yourself. You deserve it. I deserve it. See you in a while, going for a walk now. Ciao.
I listened to a TED talk this weekend. It was by Yves Morieux. He spoke on smart simplicity; too many rules and layers get in the way of being effective. I agree. But what struck me about his talk and his conclusions was that he spoke about cooperation. It was fantastic, not revolutionary in the sense that anyone would say all business, teams, need cooperation to succeed. But that in reality, how many actually practice this value on a daily basis?
A former co-worker is having issues at her current workplace. What issues:
- she asks too many questions,
- she escalates too many times, etc., etc
The bane of her existence, a newly hired director for client relationships that:
- doesn’t want to participate in meetings,
- doesn’t want to answer questions,
- and really, doesn’t want to work.
How do I know? I’ve worked with both at different agencies. I know these personalities firsthand.
There is a huge gap around cooperation when it comes to my former co-worker who is having a difficult time right now. This newly hired director does not value coooperation. They happen to be good-looking, very good at managing up, and even greater at smoke and mirrors. The right way to go about figuring out how to fix this situation is to stand back and analyze if business is doing better and expanding under the influence of the new hire or is it shrinking. Sadly, everyone is looking the other way. Easier to let go of a less senior person than it is one that is supposedly more senior.
If someone on the team has a question and it is relevant to the project, as a leader, be available to answer it. Cooperate.
If the team is struggling with client requirements, help them find solutions that will support the work being done day-to-day and ensure the client is happy. Cooperate.
A really simple but overlooked leadership quality, be available. That is your job; make sure that when people reporting to you or working with the team you are heading up, make sure you are there for them. Leadership means knowing what to do and when to do it. Cooperate.
As Yves Morieux said in his TED talk,
“you need to reward those who cooperate and blame those who don’t cooperate. The CEO of The Lego Group, Jorgen Vig Knudstorp, has a great way to use it. He says, blame is not for failure, it is for failing to help or ask for help. It changes everything.”
And so it does.